Is Authenticity Exposing our Children?

In my opinion, there are too many naked children on the internet. Children who have been exposed by well-meaning, loving Christian parents. Not physically exposed of course, but exposed emotionally. They are emotionally naked for the world to see and I would argue that this is damaging to their little hearts and souls.

I was up most of the night with an uneasy feeling after reading a recent blog post that has permeated throughout the adoption community. There are many posts floating in cyberspace just like this one that strive to be "authentic" and share "real" experiences with adoption. Authenticity is a current buzz word among Christians. All of us are striving to be "real" and "honest" about our lives in order to achieve true community. But, should we be "authentic" at the EXPENSE of our children's reputations? Are THEIR personal, intimate stories and struggles for US to share?

I would argue that these are our children's stories. They are stories of grief, loss, trauma, hurt, and rejection. They are stories of struggling with bonding and attachment. They are stories of leaving everything familiar and struggling to love their new forever family who is strange and unfamiliar. Are we loving our children well by blogging about our exhaustion in dealing with their night terrors and temper tantrums instead of showering them with compassion and grace during their biggest time of need? As adoptive parents, we must love and protect our children by protecting their stories. When they are older, if they decide to share their story to show the redemption and glory of God then praise Him. But it is their decision. As parents we do not have the liberty to expose intimate details about our children in the name of "authenticity".

This particular post made a reference to dreaming about the ease of the days before bringing home their adopted children. My heart aches knowing that those kids may read this post someday and feel unwanted and unloved. Parents, please don't damage your relationship to your child for the sake of "authenticity". And, finally if you couldn't read your blog posts to your children someday, then please do not hit "publish post"!

That said, I understand that adoptive parents need support during the tough times. (I say this from personal experience). I do agree that you should ask for help and prayer if you need it, but just not on the world wide web with such intimate details. Save these stories and struggles for your closest friends, your church small group, your mentor, or your counselor. Let's protect our families.